The Silence

                           Part 1

 She sits on the couch, zoned out as the light from her phone reflects on her face. She ignores the noise, the constant yelling, playing, little siblings running and playing their games of pretend. In the background, she hears the yelling, the harsh words, the put-downs and criticisms. And she withdraws inside herself.
  It had always been this way with her - to retreat from the world when things got rough and too painful to bear. She could get in the car and drive, but where? She has friends to talk to, but the one she really misses lives with her new husband in a different state, another in a different country, also with her husband. She longs for a closer friend, one she could see face-to-face, and laugh, cry, and hold onto when things hit too close to home. 
  Tears threaten to fall from her eyes as questions float in her head, overlapping at times. Why? This isn't how things were supposed to look. They were supposed to be the example of that most perfect relationship - a heavenly marriage of both body and soul. Then why were the evenings full of frustration, anger, and no reconciliation in sight? Each evening brought new words and problems, with no end in sight.
And so she longs for silence. The silence that comes with being alone. The silence that comes when all is calm and the house is empty of all other people except yourself. That is where she finds peace. Time to sit and rest, basking in the Father's peace and love. The peace that drowns out all other distractions and noise.
  "People ask me if I want  to get married. Most of the time, I really do. But then the fighting starts, words fly, and doors slam. That's when I think that marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. 
  "Don't tell me everyone fights - I know. Don't tell me it will pass, that it's only a  season - it's been going on since at least middle school. One puts down the other, or doesn't agree with a decision, so they get mad. 
  "Meanwhile, I'm trying to distract my younger siblings so they don't hear (or don't realize) what's going on. But sometimes I can't. That's when the questions come and the doubt burrows inside my head."
She'll never get the image out of her mind - the van leaving the driveway and not coming back until the next day. This has happened twice, as far as she can remember. The second time, she was 15, almost 16. She didn't sleep much, between the fear and prayers. . .

         To be continued. . .